Trauma evokes feelings of pain, loss, and hardship. However, for some, it serves not as a final destination but as a pathway to unexpected growth, enhanced empathy, and a deeper appreciation for life. My own journey, which includes heart surgeries, near-fatal blood loss, vision issues, and significant family challenges, has revealed that it’s possible to not only survive trauma but to thrive because of it.
This narrative reflects how every obstacle—whether physical, emotional, or existential—has transformed into fertile ground for resilience, patience, and even humor. My hope is that these insights may aid others navigating their own challenges to uncover seeds of hope and opportunity.
Heartbreak and Healing: Lessons From the Operating Room
At the age of 15, I became somewhat of a trailblazer: a teenager undergoing open-heart surgery during a time when such procedures were still in their infancy. That initial surgery led to two more, each increasingly complex and risky. The scars on my chest are a map of narrow escapes and renewed chances, a tribute to both modern medicine and the resilience of the human spirit.
Having survived three open-heart surgeries—and knowing that a fourth is not in my future—has fundamentally shifted my perspective. Every day is a gift, a reminder that the fragility of life calls for living with intention and gratitude rather than fear.
Key Insight – Resilience is not merely about returning to your former self. It’s about evolving into someone new—shaped by the trials but not defined by them.
Finding Humor in the Hospital: The Healing Power of Laughter
The recovery from major surgery can be a grueling process, particularly for a teenager. Fortunately, my parents wisely brought me a record player and a collection of comedy albums. I often found myself laughing, sometimes through pain, at the antics of the Smothers Brothers and Bill Cosby. Unbeknownst to me, those hearty laughs were also deep breaths, facilitating my lung recovery.
Years later, I had the opportunity to personally thank Tommy Smothers for the role his comedy played in my healing journey. His surprised appreciation reminded me that humor is far from a trivial diversion; it serves as a potent form of medicine.
Key Insight – In our darkest hours, laughter acts as a lifeline, reminding us of our shared humanity and our inherent capacity for joy, even when it seems unattainable.
Blood, Vision, and the Mysteries of the Body
My medical journey extended beyond my heart. At 69, a medication error led to a severe loss of over four pints of blood—nearly half of my body’s supply. I have dealt with transient global amnesia, which caused sudden gaps in my memory without explanation. After LASIK surgery, my brain adapted to using one eye for distance and the other for reading, serving as a daily reminder of the body’s incredible adaptability.
These experiences have instilled a sense of humility when confronting the unknown. While medicine is rooted in science, it also requires an appreciation of art, and sometimes the most honest answer is “I don’t know.” Accepting uncertainty fosters patience, both for myself and others.
Key Insight – Patience is not passive; it requires actively embracing uncertainty and living with questions instead of demanding immediate solutions.
Loss and Love: Family as the Foundation
The most profound trauma of my life came with the loss of my son, Eric, before he reached two years old. His brief life and untimely passing plunged me into an unprecedented depth of grief while shattering my beliefs around fairness, faith, and the universe’s order.
Yet, from the ashes of my loss emerged new connections. Decades later, I discovered that I had a daughter I had never known, bringing joy and healing to old wounds through new relationships. I learned that family extends beyond biology; it encompasses the bonds we choose to cultivate and the love we are willing to both give and receive.
Key Insight – Grief and joy are not opposing forces; they are intricately intertwined. The depth of our sorrow reflects our capacity to love, and every loss offers an invitation to expand our hearts.
Humor as a Survival Strategy
Throughout my medical and personal challenges, humor has been my steadfast ally. When classmates asked about the scar on my chest, I would joke, “You should see the other guy.” As I navigate the inevitable indignities of aging, I’ve learned to laugh at myself instead of resisting fate.
While humor doesn’t eliminate pain, it can transform it. It offers a chance to step outside of suffering, even if just for a moment, allowing us to view ourselves as survivors rather than victims.
Key Insight – Finding humor in adversity is not denial; it is an act of defiance. It is the resolute refusal to allow pain to have the final say.
The Science of Resilience: Trusting the Process
My survival stands as a testament to both the power of science and the humility of the scientific process. I have taken part in clinical trials, experienced both breakthroughs and setbacks, and learned to trust a process that values evidence over certainty.
I’ve discovered that resilience is not a solitary endeavor; it thrives within a community of doctors, nurses, family, and friends who support, challenge, and often simply sit beside us in silence.
Key Insight – Resilience is a collaborative journey. Don’t hesitate to seek help, lean on others, and share your story. Connection is the fertile soil from which we blossom.
Faith, Doubt, and the Quest for Meaning
Growing up in a religious household, I have grappled with questions of faith and doubt throughout my life. Trauma often strips us of simple answers, compelling us to confront life’s deeper mysteries.
For me, the quest for meaning has become more significant than seeking definitive answers. I’ve learned to value the journey, appreciating curiosity as a more fruitful pursuit than certainty, while respecting the myriad paths people take to find purpose.
Key Insight – Meaning is not a one-time discovery; it is continuously created by how we choose to respond to life’s challenges, moment by moment.
Practical Wisdom for Thriving After Trauma
For those navigating their own traumas, here are a few practical strategies that have supported me:
- Embrace vulnerability: Allow yourself to experience pain, grief, and fear. These feelings reflect courage, not weakness.
- Cultivate patience: Understand that healing is a process. Be kind to yourself and trust the journey.
- Seek humor: Find reasons to laugh, even at the absurdity of your circumstances.
- Foster connections: Rely on your support system and do not shy away from asking for help.
- Stay curious: Accept that you won’t have all the answers. Let curiosity guide you to fresh perspectives.
- Honor your journey: Your scars, both physical and emotional, symbolize survival, not shame.
The Blossom and the Stone
Trauma may be a stone blocking the path, an obstruction that threatens to halt our progress. However, with resilience, patience, and humor, that stone can serve as the foundation for something truly beautiful.
Every challenge I’ve encountered has altered me—sometimes painfully, yet always profoundly. I am not the same person I was before my surgeries, losses, or revelations. In many ways, I am stronger, softer, and more alive.
To anyone reading this during their own struggles, remember that you are not alone. Your pain is valid, but so is your potential for healing and growth. While you may not have chosen your trauma, you have the power to decide how to respond. And within that choice lies the potential for not just survival, but flourishing.
About the Author
Steve Larsen is a multifaceted individual. A serial entrepreneur who played a pivotal role in shaping the digital era, his ventures laid the groundwork for technologies that power Facebook, Google, and Amazon.com. Through three open-heart surgeries and the heartbreaking loss of a son, he has demonstrated the same unwavering resilience in his personal life that fueled his entrepreneurial success. An avid explorer, Steve has traversed 18 countries and 43 states on motorcycle journeys, documenting his adventures in leading riding magazines for over two decades.
His new book, My Heart Has Been in It from the Start, chronicles his personal journey and underscores the power of the human spirit. Discover more at SteveLarsen.
